| mmm |
[16 Dec 2006|09:12pm] |
found it...
A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. ~Ingrid Bergman
swept off her feet...
|
|
| -sigh- |
[16 Dec 2006|06:33pm] |
i don't feel good =/
yesterday was interesting... saya chiom orang yang saya suka..tetapi saya tak tahu kalau saya nak chiom ke tak.. kita kawan-lelaki dengan kawan-perempuan untok sepuloh hari sehaja.. itu tak bagus..
dengan saya suka orang yang saya suka dah.. masa saya umput-blas..
saya chiom dia...kenapa?? voyd???
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|
| wow |
[29 Sep 2006|03:17pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 stressed |
] |
today was probably the fifth worst day of my life.
why am i alive again??
ahh..must..get..away..from..suicidal thoughts....
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|
| <3 |
[16 Sep 2006|11:09pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 groggy |
] |
We hurt the ones we love the most,
it’s a subtle form of compliment.
I still don't want to talk to him and I realized he's better off without me anyway. No I'm not trying to be all "high and mighty" or whatever, but seriously. Better off.
if im just gonna be
another name in your book
do me a favor and cross me out
From my own experience and others', time definitely heals pain. Unfortunately it tends to let one remember only the good things and not the bad. I KNOW THERE WAS BAD. But all I can remember-- are the good.
If I could look inside your heart, would I see my reflection?
Some people are too nice. And whipped. Yeah. That too.
|
|
| =/ |
[14 Sep 2006|08:23pm] |
une: so me & three-point-one-four are sorta "fighting." as in, i do not want to talk to him. at all. i don't want to look at him or make eye contact with him. perhaps there's such a thing as the last straw, which has finally broken.
deux: i was walking with kid-with-no-codename. and at one point i just looked at him and thought, "okay I don't really like-like this kid." I don't. sometimes i do but sometimes i don't. so, i don't know. tired of people teasing me.
tres: why is my self esteem so low and why do i hate talking to people sometimes?
quatre: school is gradually getting harder.
cinq: real friends. pfft.
six: back to AP Gov.
|
|
| self esteem |
[07 Sep 2006|10:27pm] |
1. it's bad to live life with little guilts nagging at you all the time.
2. my self esteem is a measurement of myself, measured by myself. no one can make it higher because i won't believe them. people lie and embellish.
3. self esteem is satisfaction with oneself.
4. statistics show asians are more successful in school than americans, but americans have a higher sense of self-esteem. hm.
5. aim for accomplishments rather than perfection.
6. write three things that make you happy.
7. friends, writing, reading
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|
| this isn't normal. |
[27 Jul 2006|06:56pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sad |
] |
last night i had another dream about "blanket". =/
in this one i was crying
either because he died or because he wasn't there..
i do remember seeing him being cut up in the middle though.
god it was a bizarre dream.
i don't know why i'm getting them.
you'd think that he's out of sight, out of mind.
blergh. forget it. i'm not his type.
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|
| Weeks |
[19 Jul 2006|10:08am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 busy |
] |
June 30th, Friday- Got sick, couldn't go to camping
July 1st, Saturday- Went camping in the morning
July 2nd, Sunday- Camping
July 3rd, Monday- Camping
July 4th, Tuesday- Camping and got home in the evening.
July 8th, Saturday- Went to eat at house in Hartford
July 9th, Sunday- Painter Park picnic
July 11th, Tuesday- Camping in backyard
July 12th, Wednesday- Camping again
July 13th, Thursday- Megan came over
July 14th, Friday- Natasha's Bday Party
July 15th, Saturday- Nana, Hatim, Shah go to Malaysia, set up for tag sale
July 16th, Sunday- Megan went to England, tag sale
July 17th, Monday- Tania's house
July 18th, Tuesday- Anisa's birthday, black out in evening
July 19th, Wednesday- Tag sale
See why I haven't had much time to do homework? The days not listed here, I am probably cleaning or something.. and before June 30th, I was taking a break (probably shouldn't have) and also did math and french. Grr... summer goes by too fast.
Hm, also took a break after camping. Hehe. Was so tired. I'm gonna go into detail more later.
|
|
| so there's this guy... |
[02 May 2006|09:57pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 giddy |
] |
and i absolutely adore him.
even though i've only met him yesterday
but if i believed in love at first sight
that's what it'd be...
except it's not love.
just a crush.
hehe.
|
|
| I Guess I May As Well Say It |
[03 Mar 2006|08:38pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
disappointed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
High School Musical - When There Was Me and You |
] |
Hmm in my last entry (private), I wrote about Air-
"Still... there's this nagging feeling I have that he would rather be rid of me.. That maybe he's only keeping this up because he doesn't want to "hurt my feelings".. maybe he doesn't even care.."
Funny, my subconscious knew it all along. Maybe that's why I wasn't so surprised when he told me he had to talk to me.. and then we talked. =P It was funny, in a way, because I knew exactly what he was going to say before he said it. And he knew I knew. He didn't want to say it but I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of saying "okay" and just leaving. =P
Oh well. Was nice while it lasted.
|
|
| Midterms |
[24 Jan 2006|07:15pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 eh |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
When I'm Gone - 3 Doors Down |
] |
I'm kinda worried about my grades/midterms right now. I missed a month of English (switched) so I dont know how I'll catch up on all that. Same thing with Chemistry and that's even harder. I'm not too worried about any of my other classes, but I'm still kinda stressing out.. which is not good, at all.
Plus I've been in a really bad mood lately. I asked Scott and he said I havent been as bitchy as other bitches, but I'm still being bitchier than I usually am. Lol..
Anyway I gotta go eat.
P.S. I think I'm going to give up hugs.
|
|
| Guess It Wasn't Paranoia After All... |
[19 Jan 2006|05:02pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sigh |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
All Cried Out-Allure |
] |
So last night I went to the Savin Rock thingy with Megan & Thika. I saw Air there, which was unexpected.. But I certainly learned a few things about the way he's been acting lately..
Him: I should be nastier to people; I'm too nice.
Me: You're already nasty.
Him: Not to others, only you.
Me: Why me??
Him: because it's fun to make your life harder
Me: No.. that is not fun at all
Him: For you it's not, it is for me
And later on when I see him..
Me: Hi person who likes to make my life miserable
Him: Don't say it like that.. you make it sound so bad
Me: It is bad! You are a bad..
Somehow I couldn't bring myself to say he was a bad person. Because he isn't, really..
For one thing, he said I was annoying. See, some people have the right to call me that but the only thing I've ever done to him was wait for him in the hallway and talk to him. THAT'S IT! I mean, am I allowed not to do that?
Grr.. after that I just didn't feel like seeing him.. So today, I took my time in Philosophy after the bell. He didn't bother waiting anyway. Took my time after history but I saw him anyway.. After French, I took my time putting away my stuff but he still passed by just as I left the classroom.. And after English, I stalled long enough so I completely missed him.
It's funny. After history, he asks me where I was. And after french, he asks if I'm scheming against him or something and waiting in all these different places. HAHA. Like he even cares whether i wait for him or not.. like he even cares anymore.
i may as well not go to the cafe tomorrow. i mean, i like sitting with ave and marie but they're always doing homework. and Air.. eh. i'm tired of trying to initiate pointless conversation.
|
|
| I'll Write While Waiting For My CD To Finish Burning |
[11 Dec 2005|11:10pm] |
Happy weekend. Megan spent the night on Friday and we baked for the party. Next day was party. Shah came at 12:30 so he and Amirul played video games at first. Then people arrived.. Played BS-- I love playing BS with Shah and Megan 'cause Megan lies funny & Shah catches people in lies and I like to see if he's lying or not. :)
We played Cranium too. And sucked at it. But it was really funny watching people, lol. I opened presents and Megan gave me a portable CD player! AH JOY!!! I also got a beret from Ave, & the funniest card I have EVER gotten. It said, "Birthdays are like hunks.." on the cover. With a "hot" guy with abs on it.. I didn't see the writing until after Oyin had looked at it, whose face expression made Megan look at it, whose face expression made Thika look at it, whose face expression made me look at it.. It said, "Bdays are like hunks (or Shah...lol" Then (as Thika words it) I yelled "oh my god" and clung to that card the tightest I have ever clung to anything in my life. And basically, Shah lunges for the card and I tried to get away and ended up landing on the tissue paper to the left of me.. where he tried to get the card away from me. GAH I was trying sooo hard to not let him see it.. but he got it. o_o Guess he really wanted to look at it. xD.. He prolly thinks I like him now.
Megan actually got a picture of it. But I think that's the picture he was trying to delete when i caught him fidgeting with the camera. lol. And we fought over the camera.. lol. Yep.. hope no one saw that cuz it kinda looked wrong for a second. -_- But the batteries fell out (i've no idea how) & i was like.. "eh? why are we fighting over the camera when the batteries fell out" lol.
Cake was yum. We played truth or dare & Ave had to smash a piece of cake on her face. She looked so funneh. Soooo funny. ANd I had to eat a whole slice and I started hyperventilating. Squeeee. Cuz..too much sugar.
Oh wait I skipped the rest of the prezzies. Madda gave me 20 bucks, Thika gave me a jacket, and Shah gave me earrings. Which I'm wearing right now! ^^ Lol my friend Siti was like.. "he got you earrings?!?!" and I answer.. "his mom paid for them." Lol.
But all in all, t'was a fun party. Took pictures, blah blah. Cleaning afterwards, lol. And..soo..bye. :)
|
|
| I Should Probably Update More |
[02 Sep 2005|11:13pm] |
I haven't updated in a while- so I'm going to update now. I have a lot of things to say, but I'm not sure I'll get to all of them. Therefore I'm going to start from when I first got my schedule.
For half the summer, I've wasted hours and hours of my time doing the pre-chemistry Honors work. I was almost finished; I outlined all the pages and answered all the questions except 40. Lo and behold- my schedule doesn't even have a chemistry class on it! WTF? They didn't even call to tell me that Algebra Honors and Chem Honors were at the same time! I wasted so much of my fuckin time on that work, all to waste. But that's the past and I can't do anything about it now anyway... I still wanted a chemistry class though.
Anyway, turns out I don't have classes with any of my friends. Hah. Not even one. We can exclude Christine from that-(she's in 3.) I mean- Megan, Madison, Lisa, Ryan, Ken... None. Not one in not one of my classes.. nope. That was just really disappointing. I looked at the schedules, and it feels as though someone had pre-planned it so I barely saw any of them. Seriously! Different wings of the school at the same time... we pass each other only once or twice a day... It's bizarre, you'd think we'd have at least a class together with SOMEONE. *paranoid*
A few days before school started, Shah IMed me.. He's a friend I've known since childhood. His parents are friends of mine.. a malaysian. He used to be able to humiliate me.. kinda. He'd get me to trust him, I'd fall for it. But then when I actually like him as a friend, he goes and pretends like we're not even really friends.. I hate that. I don't know how many times he's done it.. it's almost like being used, but not really. He just earns my trust and friendship, only to let it fall away again. It's a bit annoying..and well, I'm sick of it but I don't know. I keep falling for it.. It's probably because he sincerely wants to be friends.. until he's found others to talk to, and whatnot..
He reminds me of a friend I had in 6th grade. ^_^
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|
| Well this was unexpected |
[06 May 2005|08:18pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sad |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
untitled- simple plan |
] |
I honestly never thought I was the 'jealous type.' *shrug* But I guess it's different with Ryan.. because.. I don't really like it when he hugs other girls.
I think I'm going to stop typing now. =) Bye bye.
|
|
| Funny |
[27 Mar 2005|12:48am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 creative |
] |
Okay... I did this test thing, to see what people's reactions to something I did would be.
Basically, I was going to chase them, trip them, get them to hurt themself in some way, and pour ice down their pants.
For some... it was a bit harder to do that, but it was fun.
Ryan's Reaction
gameshark(11:13:38 PM): *runs like a little girl*
Amira Za 90 (11:13:51 PM): *chases you*
Amira Za 90 (11:14:00 PM): i will catch u hahhahahahaa
Amira Za 90 (11:20:01 PM): *trips u*
gameshark (11:20:21 PM): *ow, my buttox
Amira Za 90 (11:20:38 PM): ow my foot
Amira Za 90 (11:21:17 PM): haha that's a funny way to spell buttox...
Amira Za 90 (11:21:19 PM): want some ice on that?
gameshark (11:21:28 PM): *mmmmmaybe
Amira Za 90 (11:21:52 PM): okeydokey *grabs a bucket of ice and pours it into ur pants*
gameshark (11:22:34 PM): what's wrong wih you?
(That was a reeeeeeeeally nice reaction. *sarcasm*)
Nick's Reaction
Amira Za 90 (12:22:59 AM): *sobs hysterically*
Amira Za 90 (12:23:04 AM): *chases u*
GnRbasket (12:23:36 AM): *trips and hopes he doest get too hurt*
Amira Za 90 (12:23:48 AM): lmao u landed on ur buttox
Amira Za 90 (12:23:51 AM): want some ice on that?
GnRbasket (12:24:02 AM): ...its ok
Amira Za 90 (12:24:08 AM): *pours bucket of ice down ur pants*
GnRbasket (12:24:17 AM): ahh...cold
(hah... that was a nice reaction. cuz it makes sense)
Zac's Reaction
Amira Za 90 (12:28:24 AM): *chases u*
mousekitty (12:28:57 AM): Ahhhhhh! *runs*
mousekitty(12:29:07 AM): what is teh kitty doing? we dont talk often.
(zac changed the subject! then i brought it up again)
Amira Za 90 (12:43:48 AM): *trips u*
mousekitty (12:44:04 AM): ahhhh!
mousekitty(12:44:07 AM): *falls in mud*
mousekitty (12:44:12 AM): and i just took a bath too. o well.
Amira Za 90 (12:44:14 AM): *pours ice down ur pants*
mousekitty (12:44:15 AM): *mud melts off of him*
Amira Za 90 (12:44:17 AM): haha
mousekitty (12:44:22 AM): AHHHHHHHHH!
UBER SHRINKAGE!
Amira Za 90 (12:44:29 AM): muahahahah!!!
Amira Za 90 (12:44:35 AM): ok that was just... weird... lmao
mousekitty (12:45:34 AM): no it isnt. when u stick ice on a guys cock, he shrinks.
mousekitty(12:45:35 AM): :-P
mousekitty (12:45:39 AM): VERY Fast.
(umm I did not need to know that, but it was nice to know?)
Cat's Reaction
Amira Za 90 (12:33:58 AM): *chases u*
DemonVampyress (12:34:15 AM): mrwo!?*climbs a tree*
Amira Za 90 (12:34:27 AM): can i cut down the tree?
Amira Za 90 (12:34:35 AM): *climbs up tree*
DemonVampyress (12:35:32 AM): ahh*jumps out* if only i could fllyyyy. why must my wings be only for show
Amira Za 90 (12:35:48 AM): nooo *jumps out but falls to ground*
DemonVampyress (12:36:28 AM): *had landed on feet and run off again*
Amira Za 90 (12:36:44 AM): *trips u*
DemonVampyress (12:37:13 AM): aahhhh*falls on face*
DemonVampyress (12:37:57 AM): mp
Amira Za 90 (12:37:58 AM): want some ice on that?
Amira Za 90 (12:38:00 AM): k
DemonVampyress (12:38:06 AM): *jumps in lake*
Amira Za 90 (12:38:27 AM): *pours ice down ur pants*
DemonVampyress (12:38:58 AM): AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!*finds a warm rock and sits on it*
(haha that was funny reaction, hard to actually do what i wanted, what with the tree ^_^)
Ken's Reaction
Amira Za 90 (12:32:28 AM): *chases u*
lunaticman (12:33:23 AM): ..
lunaticman (12:33:24 AM): ...
Amira Za 90 (12:33:32 AM): hm... dots... okeydokey
Amira Za 90 (12:33:50 AM): i can't chase some1 who doesn't run away... *sits down*
lunaticman (12:34:40 AM): errr...
lunaticman (12:34:47 AM): what are you talking about?
lunaticman (12:34:51 AM): i'm long gone!
Amira Za 90 (12:34:55 AM): what??
Amira Za 90 (12:35:01 AM): *transports self to where u are*
Amira Za 90 (12:35:03 AM): *chases u*
lunaticman (12:35:09 AM): no fair
lunaticman (12:35:18 AM): that's against da rules
Amira Za 90 (12:35:25 AM): aww but u didn't even say u ran!
Amira Za 90 (12:35:38 AM): so then... how did u get where u were i mean are
lunaticman (12:37:20 AM): ...
lunaticman (12:37:23 AM): i just did
Amira Za 90 (12:37:26 AM): er...
lunaticman (12:37:27 AM): ok?
Amira Za 90 (12:37:30 AM): what?
Amira Za 90 (12:37:35 AM): o0o ok
Amira Za 90 (12:37:49 AM): *pushes u and makes u trip and fall on pillows yet still causing u to hurt urself slightly*
lunaticman (12:38:37 AM): oh no! not the pillows! anything but those! please!
Amira Za 90 (12:38:48 AM): ummm... *takes pillows away*
lunaticman (12:38:52 AM): ...
lunaticman (12:38:57 AM): oh great
lunaticman (12:39:03 AM): so now it's just bare ground
Amira Za 90 (12:39:07 AM): yep
Amira Za 90 (12:39:12 AM): ur buttox must hurt
Amira Za 90 (12:39:12 AM): or legs
Amira Za 90 (12:39:13 AM): i dunno
lunaticman (12:40:28 AM): ...i guess not
Amira Za 90 (12:40:39 AM): *pours ice down ur pants*
lunaticman (12:40:52 AM): hey!
lunaticman (12:40:56 AM): wrong place!
lunaticman (12:41:01 AM): that goes in my mouth!
Amira Za 90 (12:41:07 AM): oops
lunaticman (12:41:09 AM): i love chewing ice
(okay that was longest of all just cuz Ken wanted to make it complicated, lol... still, a nice reaction)
*runs around in circles*
|
|
| Must...be happy... |
[19 Sep 2004|11:42am] |
Must not let bad things depress me...must stay cheerful. Must... must...
I'm just going to shun out all the things that would dampen my mood. I just don't care anymore. Happy things...
Let's see, I'm going to a potluck today. Sounds like fun... Not really... I'm bored. Ech. I'll just write later when something exciting happens.
|
|
| Eh |
[19 Aug 2004|02:22pm] |
|
Hiya everyone. I haven't updated in a long time so I think I will now. I ish going camping tomorrow. Whee! Me loves camping. Wish I weren't so busy. So many things I want to do and people want me to do. I want to read some Inuyasha fanfiction, or Harry Potter. I have the link for it somewhere below. Peoples telling me to post, mainly Rain. And Rain, if you're reading this, go jump off a cliff! Please! But then again she probably won't cuz I'm not sure if she knows what LJ is. Nope, she doesn't. I just asked her. OK, now she knows what it is. Other than reading fanfiction and roleplaying, I be adding an entry here, playing on Neopets, trying to ignore annoying brother and other unimportant stuffs. I have lots to say, but no time to say it. So I must go now. Bye!
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|
| Not So Bored Today |
[04 Aug 2004|04:27pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
Mixed (happy, bored, mad) |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Miracles |
] |
Today's been kind of wierd for me. Normally all I do are watch t.v. eat, and use the compy. Let's start with the strange dream. It has aboslutely nothing to do with my present life.
Well, first it was the first day of high school and I missed the bus. I ran up the hill to catch it but I missed it. So then I went to the busstop up the hill since I was already there. The bus wasn't there yet but two people were waiting for it, my best friend and ex-crush were though. We went to his house (I don't know why) and there was a strange poster on his door about 8 main things of his life or something. It was akward and all of a sudden it got dark so we went outside to look at the stars. A lot of other bizarre things happened but unfortunately I don't remember them. I just know they were wierd. Normally my dreams have something to do with my life but this one was way off base. I don't normally have dreams like that. I need to buy a dream book and try to interpret it. Maybe then I'll find out more about my life.
Well I went to sleep at 2 o clock last night so I woke up at 11. I didn't eat breakfast or lunch but I did eat ice cream a while ago. I could probably go an entire day without eating anything. But I actually like food. Most of it anyways. Anyways, I watched a movie... um yeah
Well, I took a quiz Fire showed me and I think the result makes no sense. I am NOT backstabbing evil! I am not a two-faced liar and I am NOT going to kill them all.......You know what! I think they made a mistake so I'm going to take it again. This is the result I got the first time.
You are Kowaru Nagisa from "Evangelion"!
You are BACKSTABBING evil.
ANIME QUIZ - Which Evil Anime Badass Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Well, this is the result I got the second time...It's a lot better! I answered a few questions differently. It;s okay, maybe one day I AM going to snap and go crazy, heehee.
You are Rin Kobayashi from "Please Save My
Earth"!
You are CUTESY-POO evil.
ANIME QUIZ - Which Evil Anime Badass Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Anyways, my roleplay site is going down the drain. People I am starting to hate are sabatoging it, posting ridiculous things. I would ban them but then I would have to face their hatred at school and I cannot bear that! God what do I do! ~sigh~ There aren't even a lot of good roleplays on it...But oh well. Depression I can deal with, hatred at saboteurs I cannot. Everyime they post something silly I have to fight the urge to post something sily right back!
I will probably write something else later today since I haven't said everything I wanted to say. I just...forgot...oh well, farewell, Wind
|
|
| Today Today |
[02 Aug 2004|02:16pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 content |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
I Won't Say (I'm In Love) -movie Hercules |
] |
I'm feeling okay right now. I'm babysitting my brother but he's sleeping. My roleplaying site is fun and it's fun roleplaying. Some people on my site get me mad, like Shoku. He posts really stupid things and enjoys offending people. He doesn't make sense. If I weren't so nice, I would've banned him eons ago. So, I'm content because I'm talking to my friends and roleplaying and since there's not too much to do right now, I'm writing here. I like the song I picked, "I Won't Say (I'm In Love). It has absolutely nothing to do with my mood because I am not in denial about love. I just like the song right now. For now it is my favorite song. Though it's old and comes from a movie. I like the songs that are in movies. They're nice. Aaaah! It's so hard to keep track of roleplays. I think I have about 35 charries in all, but I'm just estimating.
I don't really think anyone will ever read my online journal so I'm just going to write anything I want. Haha. What am I laughing at anyway? I want to go the library. I wish they would get some new books. Maybe ones by Diane Duane or Eva Ibbotson. Our library is too small, but at least we have one. I have a craving for doughnuts, yum. Good thing my mom is going grocery shopping right now. I want to play outside, but I want to play with someone. Being outside alone isn't much fun. And now I'm going to go. Until next time, Wind.
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